You are chasing god with your spirituality. I cannot compete with god.

You only have to chase something that is running away from you. God is here, NOW!

You cannot find God by chasing God or looking for God. You will experience God when God chooses. Your job is to knock hard on God's door with your love and wait. Spirituality provides the knowledge and the tools to knock on God's door and live a life of love in the present moment as you wait for God.

You only have to compete when you want to win something you don't have.  You already have God. Therefore, there is Nothing to win in the wait for God.